A Decision
by evieeden
Summary: After coming back to Forks, Alice has to make the hardest decision of her life. Advent story written for 3rd December.


**Happy 3****rd**** December everyone. Today's offering is a bit of an angsty affair, but I hope you all like the twist to it anyway. Thanks for reading.**

**Lots of thanks go to the lovely sandyquill who betad this one for me. As always, I don't own Twilight.**

**A Decision**

The wolf was staring longingly at Bella, and it was with some shock that Alice noticed that Bella was staring right back at him, the same look on her face.

Charlie had told her how bad the situation had been for her best friend last night, but she hadn't realised until this moment just how reliant upon Jacob that Bella may have become. She had told her father that they were just friends, but most men, apart from Alice's own, were terrible at reading emotions. It hadn't stopped Charlie from commenting, though, that Bella had only been able to piece herself together with this mongrel's help. Charlie had hope threading through his voice when he mused that it might come to more eventually.

Alice wasn't blind.

She couldn't see Jacob's future, but she knew without a doubt that if she hadn't shown up at the house, Bella would have continued coping without Edward with her dog's help. She didn't like to admit that even after Bella had pulled up in the car and left her wolf alone to find out which Cullen was visiting, even after their sleepover last night - hours together with no wolves in sight - Alice still hadn't been able to see her future. That could only mean that before she had arrived and made her presence known, Bella's future had become intrinsically connected with that of the Quileute wolves.

But now everything was clearing up, the haze in front of her eyes beginning to lift.

Alice would never say it, but without the use of her gift she was scared. Her visions had been the only constant in her life since she had woken up a vampire all those years ago and being without it petrified her.

The wolf cleared his throat, clearly wanting to say something in private, and Bella finally drew her eyes away from him to look pleadingly at Alice.

"I've got some calls to make," Alice announced, as if she had made that decision of her own accord. "So I'll go back to the house."

Bella took a frantic step forward at that. "You're not..." The fear in her voice raised prickles on the back of Alice's neck and she attempted to reassure the other girl

"I'm not going anywhere," she promised. "I just need to go and refresh myself." It almost killed her to say the next part, especially knowing how volatile young wolves could be, but Bella trusted the mongrel and so, for now, so would Alice. "I'll leave you two to talk."

It wasn't until she was halfway home that she wondered whether she had made a terrible mistake.

Bella was perfectly happy to be in the wolf's company, of course, but what if she was _too_ happy?

Alice thought about her brother's lonely and desperate face the last time she had checked in on him. Vampires couldn't physically change, but it was almost as if the emotional damage he had wrought by leaving Bella had taken a toll on his body. He certainly hadn't been feeding properly, she recalled, as his eyes had been pitch black, the accompanying dark circles around them making them seem like hollow pits in the middle of his face.

He should never have left Forks, none of them should have. But they'd believed him when he said it would be for the best, that Bella would eventually heal from the loss of them and move on with her life.

And she had, in a way. She had her new best friend now, and Alice tried to rein in her jealousy at that. But at the same time there was still a sadness about her, which told Alice that maybe she hadn't just passed them up for the next group of acquaintances as soon as they left. Her half-eager, half-nervous enquiry about whether Edward would also be returning had shown that she wasn't as over Edward as perhaps would first appear.

If Edward was to return, and sooner rather than later, Alice was fairly confident that he and Bella would resume their relationship once more. They had been deeply in love, anyone could see that, and the romantic in her had always wanted Bella to become a part of their family more permanently.

Yes, if Edward returned and apologised, as he should, then all would be well. She was sure of it.

Except...

The vision hit her in a flash, smacking into her with the force of a freight train and causing her to stumble backwards, an ungainly and awkward manoeuvre for her usually adept body.

Edward. Going to the Volturi. Asking to die. The terrible screeching sound that tore through the air as his head was rent from his body.

She came back to herself again, braced against a convenient tree, her mind whirring as she tried to make sense of what she had seen.

Edward. Dying. Asking to die.

_Why would he do that?!_

A horrible choking cry ripped from her throat.

Her brother. Her beloved brother. What would drive him to do such a thing? Take his own life in that way?

Her hands moved automatically, quickly locating her cell phone in her pocket and dialling the familiar number. It rang twice and then clicked. She could have cried in relief.

"Oh thank God, Edward. What the hell..."

"Hola?"

That wasn't Edward. Then where was he?

Quickly rattling off the question in Spanish, she was informed that his cell had been discarded in a rubbish bin in central Rio de Janeiro.

Swearing under her breath, she cut off the man on the other end and dialled again. Panic welling up inside her, she began to run back to the Swans' house.

"Hello?"

Finally, an answer. It felt like the other line had been ringing forever rather than for the two seconds she knew it was

"Rosalie. Where's Carlisle? You need to get him...It's Edward."

"Edward? What about him?"

Alice hissed impatiently. "There's no time! Please, just get Carlisle."

"He's not here. He's at the hospital. There's just me and Emmett."

"Well then get Emmett to call him right now," Alice insisted. "It's an emergency. I just don't understand what he's doing."

"Why, what's he doing?" The panic that was leaking through Alice's voice was now beginning to infect her sister.

It was almost too horrible to say. "He's going to Volterra. He's going to kill himself?"

Evidently Emmett was listening in because this instigating a storm of creative swearing. In the middle of his rant, Alice heard him address Rosalie.

"I told you to leave it alone. You shouldn't have called him. You should've let Carlisle do it."

"What's that?" Alice latched onto his words. "What did you do, Rosalie?" she demanded to know. "_What did you do?!_" She screeched the last part.

She was nearly to the house now; she could hear Bella and Jacob still talking in the distance.

"I just... I just wanted him to come home, for us to be a family again," the other girl pleaded. "He's been so miserable lately and so have the rest of us and I thought that if I called him, he would come back home."

A cold chill washed over Alice. "You told him that Bella was dead."

"He deserved to know," Rosalie argued. "What's the point in hiding the truth from him anyway? He always finds it out. I didn't know he'd do something like this."

Alice snapped her cell phone shut before she started screaming at her sister and her insensitivity. She knew Rosalie had never really understood Bella and Edward's relationship, likening it to an obsession from time to time, but to deliver the news of the alleged death of Bella in such a callous manner...

She needed to stop him.

Right now.

She knew she wouldn't be in time to prevent him from flying over to Italy – it was too late for that – but if he was delayed at all in his quest then that would give her enough time to travel there and hopefully stop him.

She wouldn't be able to go by herself though.

The downside of Edward only being able to read one's mind at the exact moment of thinking meant that his gift could be deceived. He would never believe her if she told him Bella was alive, even if she thought it at the same time. He would assume she was lying to stop him and rush ahead with whatever suicide plan he'd dreamt up.

Bella. She needed Bella to come with her.

Rushing into the house, she barged into the kitchen where Bella and the mutt stood, looking at each other uncomfortably.

"Bella! It's..."

She paused, images racing through her mind just as forcefully as the earlier vision of Edward.

She could see herself saying Edward's name, see Bella's eyes lighting up, her agreement to come with Alice, to save him from Volterra. She almost smiled at the sight of her brother and Bella reunited.

But then the rest of the vision came.

The Volturi capturing the three of them.

Insisting that Bella be either killed or turned.

The greed in Aro's eyes as he surveyed Bella.

He wanted her. Alice could see it as plain as day. As soon as he saw her and witnessed her mental block to Edward's power, he wanted her.

And with that came a whole host of other terrifying pictures, flashing before Alice's eyes.

Confrontations with the Volturi guard time and time again – first civilised conversations, the family's relief when they were over, and then painful battles.

Trying to protect Bella. The agony of her best friend dying, either as a human or as a vampire.

And the ever-present threat of the destruction of her family.

The destruction of Jasper.

The vision took less than a second, but the implications of it were far reaching and would last for eternity, of that she was sure.

This wasn't just about Edward anymore. It was as clear as day: if Alice took Bella to Italy it would start off a chain of events that would leave her entire family dead and her, Bella and Edward imprisoned as unwilling members of the guard.

And Jasper...her Jasper.

She tried to see what would happen if she went by herself, but that future was even worse.

Aro would have her brother, herself, and their gifts in the palm of his hands. Their family would try to come and rescue them, but...

She shook her head to try and rid herself of the images that were now burned forever into her perfect memory.

And the guard would come to Forks regardless. They would know about Bella and her knowledge of vampires from their stolen thoughts, and they would raze the town and its entire population to the ground.

Death.

Endless, stupid death.

Alice shuddered, but she couldn't just do nothing to help Edward, right?

As if they had recognised the turn in her thoughts, her visions changed.

She could no longer see Bella but couldn't tell whether that was because of imminent death or the blockage in her sight caused by the wolf she had met earlier. The town was safe though – all the students she had gone to school with - and Charlie, he was there too, not a bloody heap on the ground like she had seen echoing through her mind only seconds earlier.

And the family...

The family were safe. They grieved for their lost member, yes, but they were safe.

Jasper was safe.

They were no longer trapped or forced to run and hide endlessly.

But she couldn't just leave Edward to die. He was her brother.

Changing her mind again and again, she tried to find an alternate future in which Edward could be saved without it being at the expense of the rest of the family.

"Alice?"

Her visions vanished into thin air and she was left staring at Bella. The mongrel had his hand on her friend's hip, but Bella didn't seem to notice. The other girl was too busy frowning curiously.

Of course, she had just pushed her way into the house, screaming out Bella's name, before her visions had cut her off.

"Is everything okay?" her friend prompted her.

This was it. This was the moment to save Edward, to get her beloved brother back.

Her lips opened. Her tongue stilled in her mouth.

She couldn't do it, she realised with dawning horror. She couldn't make herself say the words.

She studied Bella carefully. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her heart was beating a little faster than usual, but then so was the wolf's. Something had happened between them, she guessed, while she had been outside.

She couldn't see their future, but she could feel the faint atmosphere of promise around them.

They still had so much to live for, but only if they both lived.

The same could be said for her family as well. They weren't technically alive, no, but there was still so much out there in the world for all of them. For her and Jasper.

To save Edward would be the destruction of them all, and she couldn't do it. Alice had never known her true family, and now she was prepared to be selfish. She couldn't give up the one she had.

And as much as she adored Edward, to sacrifice Jasper for him was just unthinkable.

"Alice?"

She shook her head again and focused on the young, human girl in front of her.

"Nothing's wrong, sorry. I just got caught up." She tapped her head with one finger and Bella nodded knowingly. Despite her understanding though, Alice couldn't stand to stay there and lie anymore. "I'm afraid I have to go," she spoke in a slow, disembodied voice. It didn't feel like she was saying the words herself at all. "Jasper wanted me to check in so I'm going back to the house for the night."

Bella's cheeks drained of colour until she was looking scarily pale for a human.

"But... I mean... you are coming back, right? You're not just going to leave again, are you?"

"Not at all," she reassured the young girl. "I'll be back tomorrow. I promise."

Even as she spoke, Alice could feel her decision setting wheels in motion in the future, and despair began to surge through her body. She needed to get out of there, before she confessed everything and did something that she knew she would regret.

"I'll see you in the morning?" she finished.

Bella smiled and nodded, her spirits restored now she knew she wasn't being abandoned anymore. The mutt looked less convinced by her performance, but as long as he let her go with some dignity, she didn't care.

"Sure," Bella replied. "I'll see you tomorrow. Give Jasper and the family my love."

Alice smiled uneasily, but the expression dropped from her face as she turned around and sprinted away from Bella and back towards the empty house. Entering the ghostly property, she made it all the way to her former bedroom before collapsing, hollow sobs trying to escape from her throat, her eyes tingling as venom welled up inside them.

Unable to cry, she yelled out in frustration and reached out, grabbing the nearest piece of furniture with her hand and launching it across the room. The tickling of shattered glass as the bed hit the window made her feel better for a split second before her grief overwhelmed her once more.

The chiming of her cell in her pocket broke through the silence and tiredly, she flipped it open.

"Alice?" Carlisle. Of course. She'd told Rosalie to get him as quickly as possible. "Is Edward almost there? I've tried to get hold of the brothers, but with no luck so far. Emmett and Jasper have run down to the coast to try and stop him."

"No!" she screamed at him. "Call them. Make them come back."

Carlisle's voice sounded more wary the next time he spoke. "Alice? What's going on?"

She gripped her hair tightly in her hand. Too much. It was all too much.

"You need to stop them, Carlisle," she pleaded. "Make them go back home and then stay there." She was frightened, so frightened for what it would mean if they tried to follow Edward to Italy.

There was a split-second pause and then she heard him instructing Rosalie and Esme on the other side to fetch the boys back. She had lived with Carlisle long enough that he trusted her implicitly when it came to knowing what was best for the family. She heard a door close in the background, before Carlisle returned to the phone.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on, Alice?" He sounded calm, and Alice almost laughed hysterically at the thought that he was talking to her as if she were one of his overwrought patients.

Instead she sighed, sorrow falling heavily over her heart. He trusted her, trusted her visions, and now she was going to lie to him and do nothing to prevent the death of his first son.

"They can't go after him, Carlisle." She suddenly felt tired down to the very marrow of her bones, or whatever was left of her changed body. For the first time in her entire vampiric existence, she was exhausted. "None of us can. It's no use. Edward has made his decision and the Volturi will make theirs."

The silence on the other end of the line was deafening.

Carlisle's voice cracked when he spoke and Alice realised that he would be battling his own realisation of what Edward's fate would be. "There's nothing that can be done?"

"No, there's nothing that can be done." Alice was grateful that he couldn't see her face at the moment. It was hard enough to not say anything about Bella's survival in the first place. "I looked at all the options for him, Carlisle. There's nothing we can do to save him."

She took a small measure of comfort that that part was honest at least.

This time, the pause on the phone was longer, but Alice knew that Carlisle was just gathering his composure before he spoke again

She shut her eyes and just concentrated on breathing. It was a very human thing to do, but she could understand why they found taking deep breaths to be a soothing practice. It was remarkably calming, even though she didn't need it physiologically.

There was a low hiss through the phone and then Carlisle spoke again.

"As there's nothing that can be done, will you come home again yourself? I know I would appreciate us all being together at a time like this."

"Of course," she replied. "I just need to stay here for another day, maybe two at most."

"Ah," Carlisle murmured. "Yes, there will be arrangements to be made there too."

He still thought Bella was dead, Alice suddenly understood. She tried to recall her phone call with Rosalie, but it seemed so long ago and she was so panicked about Edward that she hadn't realised that she hadn't let them know that Bella was still alive.

Instinct made her bite her tongue once more though.

Carlisle was friends with the Volturi, and sooner or later she had no doubt that he and Esme would visit the brothers. If she told them, any of the family, that Bella wasn't dead then once again they could all be punished for their indiscretion and the human girl killed for her knowledge.

But Alice could keep that secret safe from the ruling vampires. She didn't want to be within a mile of them because of her desirable gift so she could certainly avoid them easily enough.

Once again she had to lie to protect her family. She mentally cursed Edward for his thoughtless actions as she mourned for his imminent death. If only he had stayed away from the intriguing human like they all warned him, then she wouldn't have been put in this terrible position.

"I'll come back as soon as I can," she promised. "But Charlie's not very happy with any of the family, as you can imagine."

"No. I don't suppose he would be. Very well," Carlisle concluded. "Keep in contact and come back to us soon, Alice."

"I will."

He ended the call and then it was just her again, alone in this house with echoes of the happiness they had once experienced here.

There was nothing left to do now but wait.

And wait she did. She curled up in a tiny ball and rocked herself as the images in her head came thick and fast now. It was almost a relief when the Volturi turned Edward down when he requested his own suicide.

She knew that didn't mean anything – he would still get his wish, one way or another – but it gave her a chance to call Bella early the next morning and arrange to meet her later on in the day to say goodbye before she went home.

The stress must have affected her more than she noticed and leaked into her voice because Bella asked her several times if she was feeling okay.

And then Edward's decision came – to expose himself to the humans in the town square at the height the sun at midday.

It was the perfect plan. The Volturi would never let him get away with it, not on their territory.

They didn't.

Alice sat, curled up, numb to all emotions.

She supposed she should be grateful that it was all over quickly, but it was such a waste. Such a stupid and hurtful waste.

She had to keep the secret, though. It was essential for all their sakes now.

Edward was no longer the only one who could make painful decisions.


End file.
